A Child-like Faith

It seemed I had a lot more faith as a child and into my teenage years. I think back to the decisions I made and I impressed now. It was never easy, but I don't think it was this hard. Why is it so hard this time?

My junior year of High School was an awful year. I was struggling on the basketball team, my first boyfriend broke up with me for a friend, I ran for two student council positions and lost both times, and lost two best friends because of the elections. It stunk- big time. I was so sad, so lonely. But the Lord spoke to my heart and even in the pain there was hope. Maybe he had a better plan for my senior year than I could have worked for on my own. I definitely had worked hard and had come to no avail. I trusted him.

I trusted him in fifth grade when I was considering changing schools. I went and looked at the new school and decided I would wait a year. But I had this unsettled feeling in my stomach, and we decided to call them back and accept. I was scared to death to change schools and leave all my friends, but I knew it was the right decision, so I trusted Him.

Why is it so hard now? Is it because I had such big dreams back then and I felt like I had all the time in the world for him to move and work in my life? Now it seems like the years are passing quicker all the time, and I don't feel like I have much to show for them. Does something in my life need to change?

Steven Curtis Chapman, my fourth- favorite Steven, is my favorite because he has the most authentic music lyrics. They are not poetic, but they speak the truth of God's Word in a language I understand. He spends much of his time proclaiming the characteristics of God in his songs. This is why I go back to his work time and time again. His songs speak truth into my life in a way others can't. He also tells life like it is and is ok with brokenness. Right now, it's music that is reaching my soul. I need someone who can tell me its going to be alright because I can't believe it now.

I do know this- The Lord is near to the broken-hearted. This is a truth I am claiming minute by minute, day by day. He is near. He is faithful. He is working out His perfect plan. I don't like it, but I guess that's just the way it is.

Believe Me Now

I watch you looking out across the raging water
So sure your only hope lies on the other side
You hear the enemy that's closing in around you
And I know that you don't have the strength to fight
But do you have the faith to stand and...

Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you and I am for you
So believe Me now
Believe Me now

I am the One who waved my hand and split the ocean
I am the One who spoke the words and raised the dead
And I've loved you long before I set the world in motion
I know all the fears you're feeling now
But do you remember who I am?
Do you..

Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you
And I am for you

So believe Me now
Believe it's true
I never have, I never will abandon you
And the God that I have always been
I will forever be
So believe Me now

I am the God who never wastes a single hurt that you endure
My words are true, and all My promises are sure
So believe Me now
Oh, believe Me now